Friday, October 16, 2009
33 Funny Exam Answers
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
Source: ListVerse
i spitted out my drink at no.10 lolz...
thanks to vincent for the link~
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
Source: ListVerse
i spitted out my drink at no.10 lolz...
thanks to vincent for the link~
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Undergrad tries to sell adopted puppy for profit, gets flamed by netizens
By Liew Hanqing
HE ADOPTED a dog and tried to re-sell it online, only to get flamed by incensed netizens.
On 6 Oct - less than a week after he had adopted the dog from an animal rescue group - the man, a Chinese national in his 20s known only as 'Jeff', posted an online advertisement on at least two websites to sell it.
Though he had paid just $350 for the dog, Jeff claimed in the advertisements that he had bought the dog for about $4,000, but was willing to let it go for $1,800.
However, Jeff told The New Paper he had not planned to sell the dog for a profit.
He wrote in Chinese in one advertisement: "I want to keep this dog, but because of family reasons I have no choice but to sell it.
Mini-horses
"No bargaining please, because I am already making a huge loss."
In another ad, Jeff wrote in English: "Great Dane is a very rare breed in Singapore, many dog lovers have never seen one before.
"When they grow up, they are like mini-horses, a real head-turner! Imagine walking along Orchard Road with a dog bigger than you and yet (they are) so soft tempered, obedient, cute and lovely!"
These advertisements have riled both netizens and those who rescued the dog in the first place.
Wrote one netizen: "This guy really has no morals- trying to profit from somebody else's kindness."
Another added: "Karma's going to bite you in the rear for what you're doing... profiteering from selling a puppy you ADOPTED. Shame on you."
Mr Mohd Aswat, 30, a pet shop owner who also runs animal rescue group Ubi Kuching Project with two friends, first rescued the puppy - a 2-month-old pure-bred great dane - about two weeks ago.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat, who has been rescuing abandoned animals for the last 17 years: "One of my former customers had been keeping the puppy, which his father had brought home, in a factory in Ubi but was told by SCDF that he was not allowed to keep it there.
"He had nowhere to place the dog, so he asked whether I would be able to help find a home for it."
Pictures of the dog were posted on the Ubi Kuching Project's website and soon attracted the attention of several prospective owners, including Jeff.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat: "Though he is a foreigner, he spoke very good English. He was polite and well-dressed."
He said Jeff appeared genuinely excited about adopting the puppy and turned up to view the dog the day after contacting him.
He paid Mr Mohd Aswat $350 as reimbursement for the dog's boarding fees and food, and left with the dog.
Up for sale in a week
But to his chagrin, Mr Mohd Aswat found the dog up for sale on the Internet less than a week after Jeff had adopted it when his colleague came across the advertisement online and told him about it.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat: "I realised the address he (Jeff) gave me was false when a former customer went there and found he did not live there.
"Of course, I was angry. I was trying to find a good home for the dog. The dog was not meant to be bought and sold again."
And even though the advertisements drew flak from netizens on online forums within hours of its being posted, Jeff managed to find a buyer for the dog - a 30-year-old self-employed man who wanted to be known only as Leo.
Leo told The New Paper that he had been looking to adopt a great dane for the last six months or so, and jumped at the opportunity to do so when he came across Jeff's advertisement.
He said: "I went to meet the seller, but I was suspicious because he couldn't answer many of my questions about the dog."
He described the man as well-dressed with dyed hair who looked like he was in his early 20s.
Leo, a long-time dog owner who used to own a german shepherd, said he asked the man questions, including whether the dog had been vaccinated for heartworms.
He said: "I also asked him what the pedigree of the dog's parents are, how old they are and where he got the dog from."
He said Jeff claimed to have bought the dog from a friend who works in a pet farm.
"I asked him for the name of the pet farm and if I could speak to the owner of the pet farm, but Jeff said his friend was out of the country."
The next day, he received an SMS from a Malaysian handphone number, from a person who claimed to be the owner of the pet farm.
Said Leo: "I replied to the message and said I wanted to meet him; and he stopped replying after that."
Leo added that he was concerned about the dog's welfare as it looked skinny.
He said: "I paid Jeff a $200 deposit and asked if I could take the dog. He said okay."
Later, while surfing the Internet, Leo came across online posts about Jeff's advertisements. Suspecting the dog being discussed was the same one which he had bought, he took the dog to the pet shop to have it identified.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat: "It is definitely the same dog we had put up for adoption."
Leo said he plans to speak to the authorities to discuss what to do next.
AVA
On whether there are regulations on selling pets online, a spokesman for the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority (AVA) said it does not have jurisdiction over online advertisements.
Said the spokesman: "However, if there is evidence that an individual who advertises online is using a premises to sell pets without a pet shop licence, AVA will investigate and take appropriate action.
"It is an offence to operate a pet shop without a licence from AVA. The offender can be fined up to $5,000 on conviction."
This article was first published in The New Paper.
Source: Asiaone
Posted by AprilRyan @ HWZ
Wat an asshole !!
HE ADOPTED a dog and tried to re-sell it online, only to get flamed by incensed netizens.
On 6 Oct - less than a week after he had adopted the dog from an animal rescue group - the man, a Chinese national in his 20s known only as 'Jeff', posted an online advertisement on at least two websites to sell it.
Though he had paid just $350 for the dog, Jeff claimed in the advertisements that he had bought the dog for about $4,000, but was willing to let it go for $1,800.
However, Jeff told The New Paper he had not planned to sell the dog for a profit.
He wrote in Chinese in one advertisement: "I want to keep this dog, but because of family reasons I have no choice but to sell it.
Mini-horses
"No bargaining please, because I am already making a huge loss."
In another ad, Jeff wrote in English: "Great Dane is a very rare breed in Singapore, many dog lovers have never seen one before.
"When they grow up, they are like mini-horses, a real head-turner! Imagine walking along Orchard Road with a dog bigger than you and yet (they are) so soft tempered, obedient, cute and lovely!"
These advertisements have riled both netizens and those who rescued the dog in the first place.
Wrote one netizen: "This guy really has no morals- trying to profit from somebody else's kindness."
Another added: "Karma's going to bite you in the rear for what you're doing... profiteering from selling a puppy you ADOPTED. Shame on you."
Mr Mohd Aswat, 30, a pet shop owner who also runs animal rescue group Ubi Kuching Project with two friends, first rescued the puppy - a 2-month-old pure-bred great dane - about two weeks ago.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat, who has been rescuing abandoned animals for the last 17 years: "One of my former customers had been keeping the puppy, which his father had brought home, in a factory in Ubi but was told by SCDF that he was not allowed to keep it there.
"He had nowhere to place the dog, so he asked whether I would be able to help find a home for it."
Pictures of the dog were posted on the Ubi Kuching Project's website and soon attracted the attention of several prospective owners, including Jeff.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat: "Though he is a foreigner, he spoke very good English. He was polite and well-dressed."
He said Jeff appeared genuinely excited about adopting the puppy and turned up to view the dog the day after contacting him.
He paid Mr Mohd Aswat $350 as reimbursement for the dog's boarding fees and food, and left with the dog.
Up for sale in a week
But to his chagrin, Mr Mohd Aswat found the dog up for sale on the Internet less than a week after Jeff had adopted it when his colleague came across the advertisement online and told him about it.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat: "I realised the address he (Jeff) gave me was false when a former customer went there and found he did not live there.
"Of course, I was angry. I was trying to find a good home for the dog. The dog was not meant to be bought and sold again."
And even though the advertisements drew flak from netizens on online forums within hours of its being posted, Jeff managed to find a buyer for the dog - a 30-year-old self-employed man who wanted to be known only as Leo.
Leo told The New Paper that he had been looking to adopt a great dane for the last six months or so, and jumped at the opportunity to do so when he came across Jeff's advertisement.
He said: "I went to meet the seller, but I was suspicious because he couldn't answer many of my questions about the dog."
He described the man as well-dressed with dyed hair who looked like he was in his early 20s.
Leo, a long-time dog owner who used to own a german shepherd, said he asked the man questions, including whether the dog had been vaccinated for heartworms.
He said: "I also asked him what the pedigree of the dog's parents are, how old they are and where he got the dog from."
He said Jeff claimed to have bought the dog from a friend who works in a pet farm.
"I asked him for the name of the pet farm and if I could speak to the owner of the pet farm, but Jeff said his friend was out of the country."
The next day, he received an SMS from a Malaysian handphone number, from a person who claimed to be the owner of the pet farm.
Said Leo: "I replied to the message and said I wanted to meet him; and he stopped replying after that."
Leo added that he was concerned about the dog's welfare as it looked skinny.
He said: "I paid Jeff a $200 deposit and asked if I could take the dog. He said okay."
Later, while surfing the Internet, Leo came across online posts about Jeff's advertisements. Suspecting the dog being discussed was the same one which he had bought, he took the dog to the pet shop to have it identified.
Said Mr Mohd Aswat: "It is definitely the same dog we had put up for adoption."
Leo said he plans to speak to the authorities to discuss what to do next.
AVA
On whether there are regulations on selling pets online, a spokesman for the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority (AVA) said it does not have jurisdiction over online advertisements.
Said the spokesman: "However, if there is evidence that an individual who advertises online is using a premises to sell pets without a pet shop licence, AVA will investigate and take appropriate action.
"It is an offence to operate a pet shop without a licence from AVA. The offender can be fined up to $5,000 on conviction."
This article was first published in The New Paper.
Source: Asiaone
Posted by AprilRyan @ HWZ
Wat an asshole !!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Boyzone singer Gately dies in Spain
MADRID : Boyzone singer Stephen Gately, 33, died on Saturday while on holiday in Majorca off the coast of Spain, the Irish band with a string of hits in the 1990s said on its website.
"Stephen tragically died yesterday whilst on holiday with his partner Andrew in Majorca," the site said on Sunday.
The Boyzone members, including lead singer Ronan Keating, were heading to Majorca following news of the death.
The circumstances surrounding Gately's death remained unclear but (Britain's) News of the World newspaper reported he died after a night out.
Boyzone manager Louis Walsh told the newspaper: "We're all absolutely devastated."
He said: "I'm in complete shock. I was only with him on Monday at an awards ceremony. We don't know much about what's happened yet... He was a great man."
Speaking to the newspaper late Saturday, band member Shane Lynch said: "Me and the boys are flying out in the morning.
"We just need to get over to where he's passed and work out what we need to do."
Gately, who married his partner Andrew Cowles in a civil union in 2006, sent ripples through the pop music world 10 years ago when he announced that he was gay.
He joined Boyzone in 1993 after answering an advert in Dublin to audition for Ireland's first boyband.
The band went on to enjoy huge success with six number one singles in Britain, but split up in 2000.
They reunited seven years later, but their recent 19-date Better tour failed to fill stadiums, despite offers of free tickets.
Gately also starred in West End musicals in London, including "Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat".
Boyzone lead singer Keating was "completely distraught", the News of the World said, and former Irish prime minister Bertie Ahern paid tribute to Gately, whom he knew, on the BBC's Andrew Marr show.
He said: "The Gatelys are in my own constituency. I know the family, I know Stephen.
"He (Gately) was with us the other night with his boyfriend Andy, he came to my book launch."
Ahern, whose daughter Georgina is married to Nicky Byrne of boyband Westlife, continued: "It's just such a tragedy.
"Boyzone and Stephen, they've all been part of Irish life and far wider than that, the last 15 years, and so successful, so it's a huge, huge tragedy. It's so sad."
Gately last posted a message on his Twitter page on October 6, writing: "Still busy, lots going on. Focusing on finishing my book next so may be quiet here."
British actor and comedian Stephen Fry said on Twitter that he was shocked at the news.
"Just heard the very sad news about dear Stephen Gately. What a dreadful shock. He was loveable and sweet natured and will be hugely missed." - AFP/ms
"Stephen tragically died yesterday whilst on holiday with his partner Andrew in Majorca," the site said on Sunday.
The Boyzone members, including lead singer Ronan Keating, were heading to Majorca following news of the death.
The circumstances surrounding Gately's death remained unclear but (Britain's) News of the World newspaper reported he died after a night out.
Boyzone manager Louis Walsh told the newspaper: "We're all absolutely devastated."
He said: "I'm in complete shock. I was only with him on Monday at an awards ceremony. We don't know much about what's happened yet... He was a great man."
Speaking to the newspaper late Saturday, band member Shane Lynch said: "Me and the boys are flying out in the morning.
"We just need to get over to where he's passed and work out what we need to do."
Gately, who married his partner Andrew Cowles in a civil union in 2006, sent ripples through the pop music world 10 years ago when he announced that he was gay.
He joined Boyzone in 1993 after answering an advert in Dublin to audition for Ireland's first boyband.
The band went on to enjoy huge success with six number one singles in Britain, but split up in 2000.
They reunited seven years later, but their recent 19-date Better tour failed to fill stadiums, despite offers of free tickets.
Gately also starred in West End musicals in London, including "Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat".
Boyzone lead singer Keating was "completely distraught", the News of the World said, and former Irish prime minister Bertie Ahern paid tribute to Gately, whom he knew, on the BBC's Andrew Marr show.
He said: "The Gatelys are in my own constituency. I know the family, I know Stephen.
"He (Gately) was with us the other night with his boyfriend Andy, he came to my book launch."
Ahern, whose daughter Georgina is married to Nicky Byrne of boyband Westlife, continued: "It's just such a tragedy.
"Boyzone and Stephen, they've all been part of Irish life and far wider than that, the last 15 years, and so successful, so it's a huge, huge tragedy. It's so sad."
Gately last posted a message on his Twitter page on October 6, writing: "Still busy, lots going on. Focusing on finishing my book next so may be quiet here."
British actor and comedian Stephen Fry said on Twitter that he was shocked at the news.
"Just heard the very sad news about dear Stephen Gately. What a dreadful shock. He was loveable and sweet natured and will be hugely missed." - AFP/ms
Source: CNA
Parents up in arms again over PSLE Mathematics paper
Parents up in arms again over PSLE Mathematics paper
By Teo Xuanwei, TODAY | Posted: 10 October 2009 0824 hrs
Primary school students in Singapore. (file pic)
SINGAPORE: The first thing her son did when he came out from the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) maths paper on Thursday this week was to gesture as if he was "slitting his throat".
"One look at his face and I thought 'oh no'. I could see that he felt he was condemned," said Mrs Karen Sng. "When he was telling me about how he couldn't answer some of the questions, he got very emotional and started crying. He said his hopes of getting (an) A* are dashed."
Not for the first time, parents are up in arms over the PSLE Mathematics paper, which some have described as "unbelievably tough" this year. As recently as two years ago, the PSLE Mathematics paper had also caused a similar uproar.
The reason for Thursday's tough paper, opined the seven parents whom MediaCorp spoke to, was because Primary 6 students were allowed to use calculators while solving Paper 2 for the first time. Paper 2 makes up 60 per cent of the entire paper and consists of 18 questions.
Said Mrs Vivian Weng: "I think the setters feel it'll be faster for them to compute with a calculator. So the problems they set are much more complex; there are more values, more steps. But it's unfair because this is the first time they can do so and they do not know what to expect!"
These parents' children are studying in both neighbourhood and "top" schools.
In response to MediaCorp's queries, the Education Ministry said this year's paper was "comparable" to those of previous years. "There is no change in syllabus, question types or number of questions," a spokesperson said.
"The introduction of the use of calculators does not have any bearing on the difficulty of paper. The use of calculators has been introduced into the primary maths curriculum so as to enhance the teaching and learning of maths by expanding the repertoire of learning activities, to achieve a better balance between the time and effort spent developing problem solving skills and computation skills. Calculators can also help to reduce computational errors."
But the parents MediaCorp spoke to said students were apparently so stumped that many - even top students who have regularly aced past school examinations - broke down in tears in right after the paper.
Private maths tutor Josephine Tan whose son studies at Anglo-Chinese School (Junior), said he told her that "many A* students in the top class... couldn't finish all the questions".
According to posts on an online forum for parents, one example of the problem sums given was: "Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and Ken ate 18 chocolates. The ratio of Jim's sweets to chocolates became 1:7 and the ratio of Ken's sweets to chocolates became 1:4. How many sweets did Ken buy?"
Mrs Tan said: "They have spent months revising and preparing, but it's so much tougher than they expected. It really put a big dent on students' morale."
Another common gripe: There was not enough time for them to complete the paper.
A private tutor, who declined to be named, told MediaCorp she concurred with parents' opinions. "This year's paper demanded more from students. It required them to read and understand more complex questions, and go through more steps, so time constraints would have been a concern," the 28-year-old said.
However, the parents' fear of poor grades for their children may be unfounded since they will be compared against the entire cohort's performance.
And the answer to the question? 68.
Source: ChannelNewsAsia
Posted by MAJ Boner @ GS
By Teo Xuanwei, TODAY | Posted: 10 October 2009 0824 hrs
Primary school students in Singapore. (file pic)
SINGAPORE: The first thing her son did when he came out from the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) maths paper on Thursday this week was to gesture as if he was "slitting his throat".
"One look at his face and I thought 'oh no'. I could see that he felt he was condemned," said Mrs Karen Sng. "When he was telling me about how he couldn't answer some of the questions, he got very emotional and started crying. He said his hopes of getting (an) A* are dashed."
Not for the first time, parents are up in arms over the PSLE Mathematics paper, which some have described as "unbelievably tough" this year. As recently as two years ago, the PSLE Mathematics paper had also caused a similar uproar.
The reason for Thursday's tough paper, opined the seven parents whom MediaCorp spoke to, was because Primary 6 students were allowed to use calculators while solving Paper 2 for the first time. Paper 2 makes up 60 per cent of the entire paper and consists of 18 questions.
Said Mrs Vivian Weng: "I think the setters feel it'll be faster for them to compute with a calculator. So the problems they set are much more complex; there are more values, more steps. But it's unfair because this is the first time they can do so and they do not know what to expect!"
These parents' children are studying in both neighbourhood and "top" schools.
In response to MediaCorp's queries, the Education Ministry said this year's paper was "comparable" to those of previous years. "There is no change in syllabus, question types or number of questions," a spokesperson said.
"The introduction of the use of calculators does not have any bearing on the difficulty of paper. The use of calculators has been introduced into the primary maths curriculum so as to enhance the teaching and learning of maths by expanding the repertoire of learning activities, to achieve a better balance between the time and effort spent developing problem solving skills and computation skills. Calculators can also help to reduce computational errors."
But the parents MediaCorp spoke to said students were apparently so stumped that many - even top students who have regularly aced past school examinations - broke down in tears in right after the paper.
Private maths tutor Josephine Tan whose son studies at Anglo-Chinese School (Junior), said he told her that "many A* students in the top class... couldn't finish all the questions".
According to posts on an online forum for parents, one example of the problem sums given was: "Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and Ken ate 18 chocolates. The ratio of Jim's sweets to chocolates became 1:7 and the ratio of Ken's sweets to chocolates became 1:4. How many sweets did Ken buy?"
Mrs Tan said: "They have spent months revising and preparing, but it's so much tougher than they expected. It really put a big dent on students' morale."
Another common gripe: There was not enough time for them to complete the paper.
A private tutor, who declined to be named, told MediaCorp she concurred with parents' opinions. "This year's paper demanded more from students. It required them to read and understand more complex questions, and go through more steps, so time constraints would have been a concern," the 28-year-old said.
However, the parents' fear of poor grades for their children may be unfounded since they will be compared against the entire cohort's performance.
And the answer to the question? 68.
Source: ChannelNewsAsia
Posted by MAJ Boner @ GS
Farking hell, i see the qns also blur !!
Shagged by a rare parrot - Last Chance To See - BBC Two
poor cameraman :(
the parrot is cute thou lolz...
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