A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff, and he Was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
*MORAL OF THE STORY IS: " ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST"*
LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
*LESSON II - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING.*
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you
..... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I ?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
*LESSON III - NEVER INSULT ANYONE.*
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted"WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "S H I T!!!!!!!........."
*LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.*
LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions. Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain. Stomach...... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain. Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go. Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going. A s s h o l e.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the a s s h o l e immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 - The other organs agreed to let the a s s h o l e be in charge.
*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE A S S H O L E THAT IS IN CHARGE.*.
A scream broke the pre-dawn silence at 4.30am on a Saturday morning at Hougang Avenue 8. According to a reader who wrote to the citizen journalism website STOMP, a man was seen standing in the middle of a road shouting about losing his girlfriend. When the reader, Sharmaine, walked to the window to take a look, she was shocked to see a man staggering between the two lane road and shouting about his relationship problems.
Sharmaine said that the man appeared to be drunk. At one point, he was shouting "If you can't help me I'll lose my girlfriend." The man's behaviour resulted in oncoming cars having to slow down or stop to avoid hitting him.
When the cars sounded their horns at him, the man became agitated and started kicking a car's front bumper. This caused someone to approach the man and hit him very hard. Sharmaine managed to record a video of the scene that followed. The footage shows a man confronting drunk man, and both people were seen moving in between the first lane on the right and fence barrier that marked the boundaries of another lane. Netizens who have watched the clip expressed annoyance at the drunk man creating a scene so early into a weekend morning.
While some wondered if it was worth it for him to risk his life for his girlfriend, others questioned the lack of any police action despite the incident being an annoyance to nearby residents.
wow.. this is so cool !! btw if u have no idea wat's a vocaloids
Vocaloid is a singing synthesizer application software developed by the Yamaha Corporation that enables users to synthesize singing by just typing in lyrics and melody.
In a post-apocalyptic world, a lone hero, Eli (Denzel Washington), guards the Book of Eli, which provides knowledge that could redeem society. The despot (Gary Oldman) of a small, makeshift town plans to take possession of the book.
And that director is Paul W.S. Anderson. The last Resident Evil Anderson helmed was the first one; he wrote and produced the other two films, Resident Evil: Apocalypse and Resident Evil: Extinction.
Anderson will write, direct and produce Resident Evil: Afterlife. His wife, Milla Jovovich, will reprise her role as Alice. The movie, the fourth in the franchise, will be in 3D.
"I always envisioned Resident Evil as a trilogy of films," Anderson told website ShockTillYouDrop.com. "And we've been very lucky where it's a trilogy where the audience has built and built. I wanted to kick off a brand new trilogy. I'm really excited we're doing it [in 3-D] and we're using the same camera system [James] Cameron used for Avatar. There are a lot of exciting things about this one. I don't regard it as Resident Evil 4, I regard it as a re-tooling and rebirth of the entire franchise."
Resident Evil: Afterlife is penciled in for a September 17, 2010 theatrical release.
Ya.. tried to get all of us to dance 2gether for a screenshot but the 1st time vincent blew us up with his fire gunlance then my controller went haywire n cant get into position.. end up both of them went for stomping gestures -_-
Oh we also tried the gladiator burger at Nebo, see the pic above? pretty big right? no? tt's actually half of it onli.. the other half is in alex's tummy by the time i realise i gotto take this pic lolz... oh it comes with another plate of wedges with beef sauce n cheese -_-
Edit: Thanks to vincent for reminding
There's actually a event for gladiator burger, if u can finish the burger AND the wedges , u will STAND to win a 100bucks voucher for nebo i think... well.. tt's IF u can finish it in 5mins... and the main word is STAND to win.. so even if u fill ur guts with tt burger n wedges, there's not 100% guarantee tt u will get tt voucher lolz... wonder which idiot will test it out..